Today will be the first day of my "Send a Clown to Washington" campaign. Why not? You've been doing it for decades anyway. I don't expect national recognition for my efforts. Nor do I expect hundreds of thousands of dollars in campaign contributions. What I do expect is for people to think. You want to contribute to the old Troll here, feel free. I'll write you a paper, I'll write you a greeting card. I'll autograph a picture and send it to you. However, don't expect me to spend it on something as silly as trying to get into the White House. I have a family of four. The place is too big, and I have no desire to have that much security around me at any given time. Even if I move my mother, my sister, my brother, my brother-in-law and the rest of my extended family into the White House, there is still way too much room. I'd have to take in room mates and I don't get along with room mates. Then again.....we could turn it into a bed and breakfast and maybe make a buck. My campaign manager says we should spend all contributions on crayons and Lego's, and I think that's a fine idea.
Naysayers will point out that I have no degree that would qualify me for such a post, be it Senator, Representative, or President. I say, what are those qualifications? Do you need to be an attorney? Do you have to have a political science degree? How about being a Captain of Industry? None of this has worked in the past, what makes you think that it's going to work now? Maybe what we need is a person who is just that, a normal human being. A person who looks at an issue and decides what is right and wrong instead of what is most politically sound.
They will also point out that I'm nearly penniless, and have at one point in time been the guest of local law enforcement establishments. Well they are right. I have spent a little time in a county run bed and breakfast. I could make excuses, but you know what, the reality is that I was tired of my family having nothing. I was tired of trying to make ends meet and never having enough rope to tie the ends together or hang myself with. The result was a checkbook and a pen, and three checks later I am a menace to society. Oh and I am a deadbeat. I don't have a job. I live off the system. I'm a disabled American Citizen who has no choice but to get by on my copious Social Security Benefits and my wits. In other words, I am just like everyone else out there. I don't have much and do what I can to make the best of a bad situation.
That's right, I'm just like you.
I am Jason the Troll, and I endorse this message.
